Signs of an unhealthy dating relationship

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Does this person fail to respect your needs and views when there is a disagreement? Does this person take pride in your achievements, or does this person view your accomplishments as threatening?

Always claiming to be right (insisting statements are "the truth") telling you what to do, making big decisions, using "logic. Does this person often make you feel guilty about the relationship, often by placing you in “no win” (i.e., “damned if you do, damned if you don’t”) situations? Does this person often berate you or put you down (even in front of others) in order to feel superior? Does this person criticize you by calling you names, mock your race, swear at you, exoticify your appearance, or make humiliating remarks or gestures toward you? Does this person threaten to tell you secrets to people you wouldn’t tell this information to? “out” you to your family, post nude pictures of you in places you don’t want them visible) 6. Does this person seem to feel better when you fail? Does this person believe in the “adversarial” or game-like system of sexual conquest? Does this person say untrue things, leaving out parts of the truth, or pretending to agree when they don’t? Has this person ever hit you, pushed you, thrown objects at you, or otherwise displayed violent outbursts directed toward you? Does this person use their physical size to intimidate you? Has this person ever been violent toward former dating partners? Does this person become verbally or physically abusive when under the influence of alcohol?

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If you don’t feel that you can talk to your parents try telling another safe adult or talk to one of Kids Help Phone’s counsellors at 1-800-668-6868.

These questions are designed to establish a pattern of behavior.

Meaning that the questions may represent warnings signs if it happened once, but may not necessarily cause you alarm to call it violence, whereas other markers might be immediately identified as harmful and cause you to act on your feelings. When there are disagreements between the two of you, does this person always have to “win” the argument?

All of these forms of abuse (psychological, economic, and physical) come from the abuser's desire for power and control.

These may help you recognize if you or someone you know is in a violent relationship.

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